| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2008|01:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
holy shit batman......*dies*
DAMN IT HEATH!!!!!!!!! RAWRRRRRRRR
I'm in love with the joker now. ahhhh
yea thats right. I went to a midnite showing after opening nite of All Shook Up. and I have two shows today.....and yes i had caffeine this morning....and i will take a nap between shows
BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|03:10 pm] |
I NEED A NEW ANIME TO WATCH!!!!!! PEOPLE GIVE ME RECCOMENDATIONS NOWWWWWWWWWWW
can even be shojo but not typical shojo please <.< >.>
fantasy related is always a plus
and a one seasoner as well
in other news.........I'm REALLY starting to like Kingdom Hearts II..............weeeeeeeeeeeee |
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| day 2 of nutrition crap |
[May. 18th, 2008|10:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
meep! My summer officially begins tomorrow....going to Brunswick to begin summerstock....3 months of goddess knows how much singing and dancing. What I'm merely hoping for at this point are two things: I bond with the fellow interns (I find that it somewhat bizzare that during a school year this is incredibly hard, but during the summer from past experiences it hasn't been......*shrugs*) and PROVE to those ppl that I'm just as good. I say this because when I was trying to decide between Williamstown and Mainestate and I was talking to the Mainestate guy on the phone he was like "Well Charlotte, I'll be perfectly honest with you. Out of all the interns accepted you are the most behind. They are all more advanced dancers and singers. I'm not saying that to scare you I'm just laying down the fact."
....yea well, you only know so much from my audition where the dance moves were so basic they were hard. RAWR.
But yea I'm actually starting to get mad excited now <.< >.>
The Day 2 thing refers to a "new lifestyle" of eating I am partaking of for 28 days. No more legit breakfasts for charlotte! Oh no, even better. A SHAKE THAT TASTES LIKE POWDER AND SOME FLAVOR I DONT KNOW. And pills -_-' gah. Oh and no more starbucks *cries* unless its pure tea.
I spent the day with jon yesterday. It was lovely :). Last time I see him for a long time....he might come visit me in maine I really hope he does. If not...I won't see him till september or October. GAH.
Alright laundry look out |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2008|03:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
I realized something today.
I used to write in a diary like EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME. 6th grade-11th grade nonstop. Then i gradually stopped. I wrote for a bit this year then stopped in february.
I tried writing in it today, about thought i was feeling about lots of things...the future, the present, the past, the two sides of myself, others, my wannabe career, the world, traveling, my magick, boys, friends, etc. I got about two pages in, then stopped.
I'm afraid of my thoughts.
It's not that I'm afraid of talking to anyone in terms of content. There's really nothing shameful or bad or horrible or anything negative. It's all quite neutral subject matter really. It's just that all my thoughts are questions or confusion related and thinking/writing/talking about them just gets me so muddled and i dont kno what to do with myself and it does more harm than good. I live in the present. I tend not to think about the future cuz it wont do too much good it'll only make me anxious. But damnit, if im alone with nothing to do for an extended amount of time I start to think WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much. It's actually mentally painful.
distractions are very good..... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2008|09:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
I actually really like LA.........no not because of movie starness or all that shit everyone thinks of when they think of LA.
I like the city itself....or at least the parts I saw. Melrose is like, St. marks times 50, the residental neighborhoods have interesting stores too (i was there with a friend from MI yesterday so we were hanging out around his place), there are like 10000000 goth clubs, the people are most intriguing, and I MET THE LEAD SINGER OF A METAL BAND WHO ARE GONNA MAKE IT BIG AND HE'S REALLY NICE AND SO IS THE BASSIST AND WE HUNG OUT WITH THEM AND AHHHHH I KNOW PROFFESSIONAL MUSICIANS NOW JGNJRTHBJRKHBJHSRHBJKS
They're gonna sign on roadrunner records really soon, and they're really serious about their work and dud they're fucking GOOD. Called Redeemer. Look up their myspace if you want GOOD metal. They're the ones from LA (cuz there are like 3 that pop up). No Emily they're not death metal but not nu metal so give them a chance anyway XP
Today is see cousins who are all mad older than me day. And then the jerry herman thing. Woo. I wanna stay in LA longer Costa Mesa is meh!!!!!!!! >.<
Only thing is I wish i could dance here and see jon :/ |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2008|01:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
if you would rather not hear me complain about my weight then please ignore this because I don't want to cuz anyone insecurities I just need to type it out......
I feel skinnier than I have in a long time....pretty much all of my stomach is gone, and I don't have much fat on my body anymore. I feel pretty healthy, I've been eating a normal amount, no bread, sweets occasionally, etc. Nothing too drastic. I haven't been on the scale in over a year and last year I weighed 156 and looked kinda fat and felt gross. I feel so much better this year and definitely may be 10-15 pounds lighter. So today, I took a deep breathe and got on the scale to see exactly how much weight I have lost.
the scale says I weigh 155.
I don't understand............ |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2008|11:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
Happy Beltane everyone! Go outside and celebrate life at some point will ya ^_^
Bamboozle is in 2 friggin days.....ahhhhhhhhhh. I bought my outifit yesterday.....at urban outfitters funny enough...but seriously I'm gonna be emofied so Xcore it'll be insane XP. Stina and I are making a project to make the most badass myspace profile pics everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr tee hee. not to mention....I'll be spending the nite at jon's on friday....SQUEE. And of course bands. Dur. But that goes without saying.
I wish more people were on break.......there's not much to do here cept take dance classes........blah.
I'm going to frolick and celebrate Beltane now |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|10:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
I had my first run in with the law today. Jon and I were caught "jumping the turn stile" which basically means free subway ride. My dad is furious, my mom is blah, and I'm not actually that concerned. Okay so it's a 60$ fine. Dad thinks my career is ruined *rolls eyes*. The cop who was "dealing" with us was actually really nice and we ended up talking to him for like an hour about various. He was quite a character. Yay character studies!!! But yea other than that minor incident I had a good time. I wish he could've spent the nite....
Also, I signed my equity contract EEEEEEEEEP. I spent like 20 min trying to figure out if I wanted my stage name to be Charlotte Raines or Charlotte Vaughn Raines. After much discussion. It's gonna be the Vaughn one. I have no idea what this will mean <.< >.>
I have to read a stupid drivers manual, so i can take a stupid test so i can learn how to fucking drive. Fuck studying its fucking summer break. RAWR.
I sorta wanna go back to MI.....did i say that in my last entry? i cant remember. I CURSE THEE PMS.
uh thats it. Oh and it was gorgeous out today. YAY TREES WITH BLOSSOMS |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|04:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
I TOTALLY FORGOT YESTERDAY WAS 4/20. AHHHHHHHHHHHH
prolly cause I was having too much fun at comicon tee hee. I met the guys from Cyanide and Happiness. Lookie on facebook. There was much squeeness.
I also played magic again for the first time in 3 years. It felt good to play it for 3 hours straight even if the deck was awesomely bad (having been made in 10 min to get ready for a tournament....just for the hell of it). I don't think I'll go back to playing all the time tho. You know, just every once in a while is nice.
They had 4th edition DnD demos too!!! I didn't get a chance to play but I hear the DM gets a shitload of nice ness. I boughts things too....only spent 65$ muahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! The end.
I wish i could goto conventions more often.....*sigh*
P.S. I love spring |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|12:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
I'm going back to NY today for the summer.
So of course the last night as a college freshman....what do I do?
Pull my first EVER all nighter :P |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|07:15 pm] |
Alrite I'm finally posting again after these hellish few weeks.
This past week I did wardrobe for Carousel. Most miserable experience of my life. 5:30 till midnite, checking in costumes, repairing, ironing, washing, waiting, getting yelled at by our bitch of a costume head. It was fucking slave labor. And now I have to write journal entries on the damn thing. I only get on credit for that "class"?! (it's THTREMUS 251 meaning theatre majors have to take it, its basically doing tech for a mainstage show.) Ugh so glad it's over. The only good thing I got out of it was bonding with my fellow wardrobe slaves, and getting to know a lot of MT's. I was able to watch the show sometimes from the wings, and during all the dance numbers I had a terrible longing to be on that stage with thm, but of course, being a theatre major the chances of my getting into any mainstage musical at U of M are slim to none.
The week before I had Lord Of The Rings performances. Those were a lot of fun, although I have to admit looking back I prolly wouldn't do it again because that shit was hard! Doing comedy like that takes a lot out of you. The cast party was interesting....I ended up sleeping over at the director's house cause I was pretty fucked up. We almost made out too......<.< >.> I'm really glad we didn't though I have to admit. But I can say that I will never look at the LOTR movies the same way ever again.
Last day of classes is tomorrow, although honestly the madness doesn't end until I get home on friday. Today I had a psych final which I got a C on (thanks Carousel......thanks), and tomorrow I have a small performance in the Creating Musical Theatre Class. All you U of M ppl should come its from 5-6:30 and my one act has WoW references :P. Then Wednesday I gotta pack and take shit to storage.....its just crazy
I got wasted one final time as a college freshman. Went to metalfrat with all the intention of hooking up with this one guy who ive known for about a month and I JUST found out he lives 5 doors down from me wtf. He listens to death metal emily (favourite band is opeth i think)!!!! and lots of techno. And he has interesting mood swings. And he likes graveyards. And he's 21 in a week <.< >.> Don't worry peeps I'm still with Jon, I'm just bein in college, and he knows and doesnt care cuz i tell him everything. He's actually proud of me which is kinda odd. but hey I <3 him so yea.
uh what else....going to necto one last time tonite......um going to comicon this weekend..........
thats my event entry. I'm sure an "emotions" one will follow within the week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2008|02:31 pm] |
The Musical Theatre department at Umich is doing fucking RENT for the fall musical.
I don't care if I'll be a sophmore Theatre major. I'm gonna fucking show those MT's that I'm just as good. I'm gonna get into that show if it kills me.
rawr. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|04:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
I am not in a good position right now.
I'm supposed to be doing running crew for a show, You Never Can Tell, for a credit that all theatre majors need to take. I have two major conflicts. One, the performance dates conflict with Lord of the Rings. Two, I'm supposed to goto NYC tomorrow for the weekend for two auditions and a concert, and Easter. I have been trying to find a replacement for the past 3 weeks so that I can do tech for Carousel instead. I couldn't find anyone, but I figured everything would be okay.
I was informed yesterday morning (last evening was the first tech call for You Never Can Tell), that if I don't find a replacement, I will fail the course.
I still can't find anyone.
about two hours ago I just found that if I still couldn't find anyone and I switched to Carousel, the highest grade I could get is a C-. This would look terrible for a theatre major to get a c-. My parents are NOT HAPPY either.
Jon said that my GPA for the semester would be at the lowest a 3.2 Which actually isnt that bad but its just the fact that ive never gotten a grade that low in a theatre class EVER.
My parents are discussing whether i should still goto NY or whether i should just stay and do running crew....
I just wanna go home......ill drop lord of the rings so i can do well in my other classes.....just leme go home so i can audition and see The Pillows and see Jon T_T |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|01:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
I am sooooo bored rite now.........I could be doing some psych hw but i have no motivation....I can't go out to read or w/e cuz Ryan supposed to pick me up mad soon....we're going to fenton and he was SUPPOSED to be here like 1 1/2 hours ago!!!!! So now im in that ugly limbo where I don't wanna start anything cuz he could come at any time....I COULD'VE DONE MY LAUNDRY DAMNIT.
Uhhhhhhh wat else...I wanna wear a tutu for theatre prom....and pointe shoes.....how nuts would that be
speaking of nuts, it's sorta St. Patty's day and tonite will be WHOAAAAA cuz theres gonna be like 20 ppl doing goddess knows what completely fucked out of our minds and its gonna be quite a nite. Wee.
I still have a cold. Meh. I could make tea I guess....excpet THAT RYAN MITE BE HERE SOON SO I PROLLY SHOULDNT OR ELSE I WONT FINISH IT. Godamnit.
I realy don't like waiting can't u tell????????????????????????
Who wants to goto Poland? I kno I kno, "Poland charlotte? wtf????" I was in Playfest this week which is basically a staged reading of plays written by the playwriting class and its weeklong. Actors can perform if they want to. The one I was in was about Poland. So now I really wanna goto Poland. I can say Fuck Off too. It's Spierre dalai dam rade or something like that. Also look up Polish hip hop. It's quite amusing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna be good at Smash Brother's anything. I was over in David's room with Kevin and like two of his friends playing Brawl, and the game is the shit (music owns at life) but I SUCK so hard. W/e. I'll just continue yelling random profanitites to distract my opponents. That could do something who knows.
I can't wait to get a single next year |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|11:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
Holding close my secrets
Naked broken pieces
-from the madness in what you do
The fingers point right back at you
What about my problems?
The people try to solve them
I guess I’m under the weather...
Since no one else belongs here, with me
Hello mother,
Some news for you
I’m really not that crazy.
Hello father,
I'm curious?
Why you think there's something wrong with me.
Sunday I cried all night...
And it hurt so bad
But if you try to understand--
This is who I am.
Color coated sweetness
Swords beneath my clean dress
I'm making sense of shattered dreams
Because I want you to be proud of me
What about my problems?
The people try to solve them?
I guess i’m under the weather
Since no one else belongs here with me.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2008|11:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
I don't wanna go back to Michigan........Cause I have a psych test on wednesday I haven't really started studying for, I can'tt I sleep until 10:30 every day, I have a movemend midterm and sooooooooooooo much work to do after my classes tomorrow it's obscene >.< The only thing I'm looking forward to is getting back into shape in since I haven't danced all week.
Also there's the obvious I'm away from Jon thing. I got to spend the entire day with him yesterday it was GLORIOUS. It felt so good and so natural and right and when I kissed him I wasn't pretending I was kissing someone else it was allllllllllllllllll him (this is why I'm starting to think hooking up is lousy because I'm not REALLY enjoying it, I'm more analyzing the kiss and how good it is, what I can do to make the guy a better kisser and pretending the person I'm kissing is Jon but it's not really working. Based on my reactions to these hook ups...even though there's only really one guy who I've been hooking up with..... I think I can safely conclude that I was a prostituite in a past life :P) But yeah being with Jon was teh awesome. Hopefully I'll get to see him in 3 weeks when I come home for my Mainestate Audition.
So yeah great time in NY, wish I could've seen more people longer, or more people in general wish break wasn't one week long, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
On the bright side there's only 6 weeks left of classes XP |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|10:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
I see Jon in 1 1/2 hours.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | thirsty | ] |
so this crush on adam really needs to stop. It's like middle school all over again. I think when I see Jon on saturday (I get an entire day with him. It's amazing and really very sad at the same time.....) it'll be better. Grrrrrrrr.
I saw two plays today: The Seafarer which rocked my socks, and Macbeth with PATRICK STEWART. That was also very cool but i was tired so i was zoning out a couple times >.<
Last nite I saw Passing Strange. Had its ups and downs. 2nd act was better. I wanna goto Berlin. Now. Also hung out with Greg my prom date. Love the guy to death but serious high maintainence. He takes gay to a whole new level. In a good way of course :P. We walked from times square to my house after the show (and starbucks.) thats 2 bloody miles. It was awesome XD
I don't kno if ill be able to visit school like I thought....tomorrow im getting my first resume head shot pics ever (for maine state meep!) which means i gotta cut my hair to get rid of the color *cries* and i wont be able to color it again for a while. rawr. Friday i dunno about.
Where is Stina???? shes supposed to be here to sleep over.....and shes not.......come on girl get ur butt over here!
One week for break is not enough...........T_T |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2008|07:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
emo phase kinda gone now.
I WANNA GO HOME SOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|11:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
1. Have you ever had mono?
No.
2. The last place you were (besides now)?
STAC for ring of steel ^_^
3. The last gift you received?
.....condoms......
4. How many times a day do you drop your cell phone?
not too often tho i have done it
5. The top three things you spend the most money on?
Hot Topic, Starbucks, Ring of Steel
6. Last food you ate?
Clementine
7. First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
hair i guess
8. One of your favorite songs?
Amaranth-Nightwish
9. The school you attend?
university of michigan
11. Favorite store in the mall?
Hot Topic......
12. The longest job you had?
being a junior counselor for 5 weeks
13. What do you smell like?
.
14. The biggest lie you've ever heard?
"I'm a virgin"- Charles when we were still dating
15. The last time you cried was because why?
Derf said I was getting fat and he was being honest....
16. In your opinion, do long distance relationships work?
working on it
17. Do you drink coffee?
not straight up
18. What do you wanna say to your most recent ex?
hi......
19. Do you believe in God?
not ur god.
20. Favorite color(s)
silver, blood red, black
21. First person on your missed calls list on your cell phone?
David Jezuzyck
22. Who is the last text message from and what did it say?
"10 min. No call now" from jonkun
23. How many pillows do you usually sleep with?
one
24. What are you wearing now?
nightclothes
26. What are you doing tomorrow?
laundry, pointe, movement, hanging out with david and michael (squee!)
27. Can you play ping pong?
Yea
28. Which place has the best burgers?
some diner i dunno
29. Do you like maps?
I think they're fascinating to look at.
30. Do you like strawberry banana smoothies?
*nods*
31. Have you ever attended a themed party?
Yup!
32. Have you ever thrown a party?
fuck yea
33. When did you wake up this morning?
9 am
34. The best thing about winter?
snow but not in excess >.< stupid MI weather
35. Last time you were in trouble with the cops?
Never.
36. What color underwear are you wearing?
black
38. What are you plans for this weekend?
IM GOING HOME
39. How many days is it until your birthday?
....349
40. What do you want to be when you "grow up"?
a performer
41. Are you on a laptop?
indeed
42. Are you smiling?
too sleepy
43. Do you miss someone right now?
yes
44. Are you happy?
im tired.....
45. Have you ever been in the hospital for an emergency?
when i was quite little
47. What jewelery are you wearing?
jon's choker, moon of isis ring, celtic charm bracelet
48. What are you going to do after this survey?
sleep and talk to jon
49. Song you're listening to?
message in a bottle- The Police (shut up it's 80's music nuff said)
50. The car you were in last?
MICHAELS (SQUEE!!!)
51. Do you like avocado?
ew
53. How long is your hair?
just touching shoulders
54. What song do you have stuck in your head?
nada
55. Last show you watched?
i forget i never watch tv anymore
56. Last thing you drank?
water
57. Where did you sleep last night?
My bed.
58. When was the last time you smiled?
talkin to david about michael <.< >.>
59. What did you say last?
"she's on north campus tonite" (hallmate asking where one of my roomies was)
60. Where is your phone?
on the left
62. If you could go out with anyone in the world who would it be?
idfk. Maybe Sonny Moore :P |
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