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abstract musings on concrete thoughts [Sep. 16th, 2011|08:50 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

everything is at my fingertips.

I discover a wad of bills where there should have been maybe a handshake as a gesture of thanks, the thanks that never came due to fallen plans.

suddenly the possibilities are endless

money makes the world go round?

yes, but although in my mind I am living on the edge and as wild as I can be, I choose to indulge instead in the delight of the honeydew flavored liquid within a rival's confounds, yet I am in no way threatened.

I did buy a shish kebab at a street vendor though.

all day I yearned for nothing more than to completely immerse myself in the other world I am visiting in spurts throughout the day, but serving the people was my main task today. Now that the night is young, and a party to potentially attend presents itself, with new faces to meet, but I swerve away and plan on reuniting with old friends and a lover, reaching across hundreds of miles with our voices.

Go beyond the comfort zone, right?

but sense should be a factor, too. Monday is an exciting day that approaches, filled with an amazing opportunity, and I shall attend the call though I may not yet be qualified. I am determined to establish a presence though, and that is what this weekend is for. Preparing for the dark dance. Parties must come later. I'm not real friends with the host anyway.

My body is confusing. I feel like it's betraying me yet again, and although I've been through the routine enough times to know the betrayal ends soon, this delay is not in good timing. I can not wait much longer.

My mind is reaching beyond what is perceived, and the new reality sets in. Searching, exploring, seeking. I am lost in what's not real to others but is so real to me. Yet I am fiercely territorial, and only allow certain people in. Most of the time they are not completely human. But they know that. Or they wouldn't be there.

I keep yearning for what's not there yet, I am hiding, barely on the edge of the spotlight that I yearn to bask in so badly, but am down right terrified at the same time. But above all the fear shall die. I sense my destiny. But oftentimes it's not so easy anymore.

The unkown is so exciting.

More opportunities present themselves. I see them. I follow the call, because deep down, I acknowledge and embrace my desire.

I want to be found.
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(no subject) [Jun. 15th, 2011|02:33 pm]
the only way I'm gonna post an update is if I get this laptop out of the house and am in a relatively unfamiliar location. So.....when I'm in lansing tonight lol
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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2011|04:16 pm]
I miss England.

When will I get to go back?
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Regarding Dinner Parties [Mar. 17th, 2011|10:59 am]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I think it would be really fun to host a dinner party.

In my Art of the Essay class, we read an essay that had a large section about dinner parties. How one organizes them, the type of people invited, the correct protocol for eating, how the whole night is laid out, what people talk about, etc. I find it most fascinating.

I've been to one real dinner party. Right before I started college, my parents and I were invited to a friend's house in Gross Pointe, MI, which is essentially the Westchester of Michigan (i.e., mad rich peeps in giant butt houses, yo.) It was a group of about 8 adults and an awkward 18 year old, and they all knew the hosts but not each other. That's part of the art: Finding the right mix of people to invite, so that everyone can be involved in some sort of conversation. The seating arrangement lends to this as well, and of course one must adhere to the boy, girl, boy, girl, seating order with the hosts at either end of the table. Your manners must be flawless, with the napkin always in the lap, and remembering which utensil to use when, and that you need to remember to There are cocktails before hand, and lounging around post dinner until the first guest leaves.

I'm really attracted to the ritualistic aspect of it. I also LOVE hosting things. I find a strange joy in organizing parties, and who I want to invite, and what kind of activities can be going on so that everyone has a good time. When I was younger and could only invite a certain number of people to my birthday parties, I had to pick and choose very carefully so that everyone could get along. I think that I might have a natural knack for picking the right people to invite. I'm also good at making the rounds and talking to everyone present so that I give all the guests their rightful attention.

The problem lies in the food since I can't cook for shit. I could always ask a friend to help, or I could order food, but I would feel bad if the friend were invited but then was also in charge of the food, and ordering costs money, so ultimately I would have to make it myself. Maybe that's a good incentive for working on my cooking skills? I can certainly make more than I used to, but I am nowhere near up to par for "dinner party cooking proficiency."

Maybe I'll start with a Tea party and work my way up :D
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(no subject) [Feb. 10th, 2010|10:05 am]
[mood |awake]

The snow is insane. Sooooo much of it. And it's still coming down. Do we get a snowday? Of COURSE NOT! Because that would just be such a waste of money -_-. My dance class was cancelled. Still gotta goto Japanese....

I'm discovering more and more that I REALLY like alternative 80's music. 80's music in general is a given with me, but now I'm starting to get into more underground stuff. Like The Birthday Party. Dood, this band. Is ridikulous. I can't even really describe them yet because I haven't listened to them enough. But they are twisted and weird and AWESOME. The end.

My housemate picked up the game "Dante's Inferno" yesterday and I watched him play a good portion of it. It's pretty sick. The animation style is fascinating to look at and the muzik is pretty darn cool too. He's in Lust right now. The circle of Hell not the state XD. Everything is either a glaring phallic symbol or a glaring erm, female symbol. It's amusing. I plan on watching more of it.

Also watched a little bit of a Japanese movie called Wild Zero which is a LEGIT psychobilly movie. It has zombies, and the music, and the attitude and I totally would've finished it if I hadn't been so damn tired. In the future it shall be done!!!

I feel like I've been really slacking off in Japanese...my quiz and hw results have been sort of all over the place so I don't actually know how well I'm doing, but I'm sure it's nothing near where I want it to be. But I can't seem to get the motivation to really sit down and study. Meh.

Sweeny Todd just came up on itunes shuffle. huzzah. OMG NOW IT'S LADY GAGA. YESSSSSSSSS

K I should get ready for class now >.>
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(no subject) [Feb. 5th, 2010|10:03 am]
[mood |awake]

haven't had a real update in a while so I figure I should since I still have some time to kill before getting ready for class xp

Ohayocon was MAD FUN. Lots of running around and chaoticness but I got pretty much everything out of it that I wanted to get. The panels went better than expected, we made some more contacts especially at the steampunk meet up, the masquerade was really fun (And we got an honorable mention for our skit!), and had some really fun photoshoots with The Enthusiasts. They're a relatively new erm company? organization? fan site? Not sure what to classify them as >.> who are really into going to cons and getting up close and personal with con goers which I think is awesome. They interviewed Ally and I on our Yes skit which is now up on youtube and turned out really well we think! here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oO8dcMCC9d8 I hope we get to work with them again in the future they were really awesome and nice people.

I also now own my first pair of CYBER DREADS. They're a blue theme and they are SO FRIGGIN BOUNCY IT'S INSANE :D I think I'm going to wear them to theatre prom >.>

Speaking of theatre/rehearsals, we started our wrestling workshops a couple weeks ago for Trafford Tanzi. IT IS SO MUCH FUN. The hardest move we're currently working on is the "dropkick"...only Tanzi does it, and in since I'm the understudy I need to learn it too >.> it's HARD. But once it's mastered....it will look SO GODDAMN COOL. We were told by our director the other day that we need to be off book by the first ou...and I still haven't recieved my script...meep. We'll see where that goes.

MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEKEND ASDFGHJKL;. I had a dream last night that I was going to a bar but I forgot that I still had another week before I was 21 and I was like nooooooooo. But in since I'm pretty sure I won't be attempting to enter a bar before next weekend I think I'm ok with that dream xp. The plans of epikness are starting to form in my brain....and and EPIK day/night it shall beeeeeee!!!!

I think I might be starting to slack off with hw....this is not good...I need to get back on track....I think the con consumed so much of my first month of school, so now that it's over I'm like wait...I have to ACTUALLY do hw now??? LAME! I'll try to get back on track this weekend...I should have time...I BETTER have time...I'll MAKE TIME!!!!!!!

That's all for now. Gotta get ready for class. Peace!
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2009|11:10 am]
we close today :(

I absolutely adored being involved with a Uprod production. In an ideal world, I'll only be doing Uprods now till I graduate but we all know that most likely won't happen. All the performances have been really fun, I love the large audiences, and being a creepy ass witch nun XD. And the cast bonding, and being in dressing rooms and just EVERYTHING that goes with being in a show. I can't wait for the next one. I guess that'll be Tanzi? Which will be weird cuz I'm understudying...I dunno we'll see.

I started listening to Owl City recently....oh my goddess this guy is adorable. His music is just so damn HAPPY and you can't help but be infected by it. I listen to it when I'm walking to classes and stuff cuz it puts an extra bounce in my step cliched as that sounds xp. I was listening to him before my voice lesson and there wasn't any particular reason for me to be in a good mood and I bought a cookie at a bakesale and it didn't taste especially good, just your generic sugar cookie with frosting...and there was snow on the ground, but there was nothing incredibly pretty about it....and it seemed like a pretty ordinary morning....but seeing as I was listening to Owl City, EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL FOREVER. So yea, I'm a fan lol.

This time next week I'll be back in NYC...crazzy!!! It's weird that I haven't been there since august. This has truly been the longest time I've been away from home (or is it really my home at this point? I'm not sure I have a true home right now o.O) I hope mom didn't exchange my loft bed for a normal one yet >.>

awwww Gurren Lagann music just came up on itunes shuffle. I love that series so much....I should watch an episode of it for fun at some point...

I FINISHED GOOD OMENS. Ok, I think it's one of my favourite books. Seriously. I love reading, but I'm not a huge fan of rereading, but dood, I would read that book again. Which means I should get my own copy. Eventually. Maybe this also means I should start reading Terry Pratchet. Finally.

time to head to the theater for the last time this semester :(

I wanna goto England
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2008|01:13 pm]
[mood |indescribableindescribable]

holy shit batman......*dies*


I'm in love with the joker now. ahhhh

yea thats right. I went to a midnite showing after opening nite of All Shook Up. and I have two shows today.....and yes i had caffeine this morning....and i will take a nap between shows

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(no subject) [Jun. 15th, 2008|03:10 pm]
[mood |awake]


can even be shojo but not typical shojo please <.< >.>

fantasy related is always a plus

and a one seasoner as well

in other news.........I'm REALLY starting to like Kingdom Hearts II..............weeeeeeeeeeeee
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day 2 of nutrition crap [May. 18th, 2008|10:36 am]
[mood |excitedexcited]

meep! My summer officially begins tomorrow....going to Brunswick to begin summerstock....3 months of goddess knows how much singing and dancing. What I'm merely hoping for at this point are two things: I bond with the fellow interns (I find that it somewhat bizzare that during a school year this is incredibly hard, but during the summer from past experiences it hasn't been......*shrugs*) and PROVE to those ppl that I'm just as good. I say this because when I was trying to decide between Williamstown and Mainestate and I was talking to the Mainestate guy on the phone he was like "Well Charlotte, I'll be perfectly honest with you. Out of all the interns accepted you are the most behind. They are all more advanced dancers and singers. I'm not saying that to scare you I'm just laying down the fact."

....yea well, you only know so much from my audition where the dance moves were so basic they were hard. RAWR.

But yea I'm actually starting to get mad excited now <.< >.>

The Day 2 thing refers to a "new lifestyle" of eating I am partaking of for 28 days. No more legit breakfasts for charlotte! Oh no, even better. A SHAKE THAT TASTES LIKE POWDER AND SOME FLAVOR I DONT KNOW. And pills -_-' gah. Oh and no more starbucks *cries* unless its pure tea.

I spent the day with jon yesterday. It was lovely :). Last time I see him for a long time....he might come visit me in maine I really hope he does. If not...I won't see him till september or October. GAH.

Alright laundry look out
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